twist

I surrender! I don't have a singular focus for this blog (or my life), I may never have one (for either) -and I'm finally OK with that. <<EXHALE>>. It feels so good to say that out loud! It's time to embrace the fact that I may just be one of those people who will always love too many things and have too many interests and never really fit anywhere. I'm tired of constantly fighting and endlessly struggling to find my 'focus' and 'vocation' (5 career coaches were also left scratching their heads).. Perhaps I'm what Emilie Wapnick would call a  Multipotentialite . Perhaps being in this weird land of indecision (being someone without one true calling) is exactly the place where I'm supposed to be... and exactly what I'm supposed to explore here in this blog!  'A blog needs room to grow and space to wander, which means that if you're completely sure of where you're going blog-wise, you're probably never going to get th...

  It's almost as if the sun knew we needed her today.  I can't remember the last time we captured sunbeams quite like this.. we had tried many times but have never seen the colours reveal themselves so boldly. The intense rays just burst through this morning and with it we were reminded of all the love and hope we had hung in our windows.  One minute it was grey -then suddenly it was as if the room had caught fire! My daughter was the first to spot the colour -  like a beacon of love shining right onto her arm, she smiled as she settled in and sat perfectly still to examine her work which had all started to come alive. I heard shriek's as she found more and more hearts... They were everywhere - hearts flooded our front room and danced across my daughters face. Time Froze. The suncatchers we made were projecting love right back over her heart and landing all over her little body- - I almost froze when I saw it. She started to thaw... her eyebrows softened - her shoul...

Can a mistake even be considered a 'mistake' if it was made all those many moons ago when we were young- and if we don't even remember doing them? In watching my own children grow - I'm well aware that they are imperfect beings, wrought with delightful daily mistakes which have thankfully served as a compass of sorts to help them learn and grow. I have embraced that mistakes are sometimes their greatest teacher (and mine). But what if not everyone see's it this way... My Father is a grand story teller and a master of illusion - he definitely knows how to control what he wants others to see. Thus - I've learned over the years that he works very hard to cover over/hide his imperfections- as he can't handle his mistakes very well (or mine). He also loves an audience and is known to use the stage as a way to deflect any attention away from himself (and onto others). Growing up I often had a staring role in his material -- I can't tell you how many times I...

I was making Birthday cards this past week, and as I looked down at my handwriting I started thinking about my Grandfather. He was always telling me that I should do something with my handwriting- like turning it into a font or making sure it made it's way into one of my paintings or web designs.  He had all the time in the world for me (I was clearly his favourite) and  was always interested in what I was doing - he had this magical way of making me feel important and 'seen'.  Which is why I was completely stunned when this lovely French Woman named Geraldine  told me that he could still in fact 'see' me (side note: He died nearly 8 years ago); and that he had some advice for me. {Here's where it get's really tingly and bizarre}: She told me he wants me to do something with my handwriting! I mean... How would she even know that? I can hear your eyes rolling and completely understand if you need to leave the room now ( I know my mother and husband both star...

I still love walking into my closet.  All of my favourite treasures sit waiting there for me - carefully curated, collected and cherished pieces from so many different lives lived (and reminders of all the many different people I have been over the years). Part Museum and part dreamy 'happy place' - so much of me that I don't share with the rest of the world is hanging in this secret cove. From the shoes (oh the shoes) to the fancy purses to the makeup and the jewelry - It's a guilty pleasure for sure! I love and long for that woman who used to put them all on (Guilt Free) who didn't think twice about what others might think. Is it because I'm a Mom now (#momscantwearthat).. is it because of the pandemic and that most of these relics have collected dust as we have nowhere to go?  Or is it because I have two young girls who are also drawn to the magic of this place and are watching my every move - I have to be so careful how I introduce them to this complicated r...

Thank you Kerry Clare for asking me to show others what I love!  As a consummate Generalist and someone who fiercely loves too many things - I'd never been good at narrowing down or selecting just one thing to love/focus on (More on that in another post).  Interestingly enough - I didn't need to dig too deep this time for the answer to present itself.  This is largely due to a realization I've had over the past year during lockdown. Quite simply - I realized and remembered just how much  I *truly loved  making gifts and art for my loved ones and friends. During our time at home together, Art came back to me. A silver lining of the world standing still - it became a constant and the kids and I started painting, drawing and creating almost daily together! If you ask my mother, she would say that my love of making and gifting started at the tender age of Five! Exhibit A - (below) is a finger painting I did around that very age to announce the arrival of my baby b...

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt Dramatic right? But seriously... The Horror for me was posting my very first post to this Blog (and sharing my thoughts/self with complete strangers). The irony is not lost on me as I've willingly enrolled in a 'Blog School'. So here I am -  I've been asked to take a trip outside of my comfort zone. To be a little bit lost...and then to report back! And without hesitation - I'd like to report that I have never felt more excited. It's kind of like the rush you get when goosebumps sneak up on you; a sensation somewhere between fear and utter curiosity. A 'newness' inside of me has definitely been hatched. Upon reflection, it wasn't the blogging itself tha...

Hello Dear Friend, It’s me again…  If you only read these next few lines I want you to know that I love you, I miss you and I'm not going anywhere.   I also want you to know that I'll understand if you need to vanish again. If you are still reading - Thank you. I have been rehearsing what exactly it is I should say after this point...I wake at 3:00am and practice what I would say, What I want you to ultimately know, is that we don't have to talk about anything in particular - you can take a pass on anything too dark/heavy (I know you are laughing right now: 'yes' I can do small talk,  and 'yes' I don't always have to do a deep dive and am really good at discussing the lighter things: books, recipes - cute new jeans). I talk with small children all day and have lots of cute jokes to tell too!  I'm sorry about the cute memes and Emoji's - I notice you didn't respond to those either. By now - you're probably used to my 'signature' mo...

If there's anything I've learned over the past ten years -changing your career (and by default your life) takes some serious guts and perseverance!  It takes even more stomach trying to convince those in your personal/professional circles that you are actually going to 'follow through' with said plan/path.  But nothing compares with the imagination and serious self-love it takes to listen to your own voice (let alone find it) instead of listening to what all the 'Experts' and cynics have to say...